Shappism

I have decided that f I become transport minister pedestrians will have to carry a registration number to be displayed at all times. In addition you will be electronically restricted to walk at no more than 3.12 mph (5km/h converted to mph to indicate sovereignty), Above this speed your hat will blow off and a horn will sound, immediately highlighting your criminal behaviour to enforcement officers who will be posted at each street corner.

Those moronic -keep fit- folk doing their 5km morning runs at excessive speed will be a thing of the past. The anticipated general tail off in collective national fitness will create much needed work for the doctors and nurses of the NHS.

Contracts  for the speed sensitive hat manufacture have been awarded to my pals who previously specialised in covid PPE and track and trace systems..  At a hundred billion pounds (in the first year) it offers outstanding value.