What's.....

What's brown and sticky?
What's brown and runny?
What steams and comes out of cows backwards?
What's brown, smells and sound like a bell?

In no particular order...

Isle of Wight ferry, Usaine Bolt, dung, a stick.

What? You could pay a lot more and get less at the Edinburgh Festival.

Ok, been a dull wet day, a day for settling down to get annoyed at the huge numbers of adverts on day time TV. Funeral plans, disability scooters, fekkin meercats, we by any car for buttons, walk in baths. Yet no, denied, I turned on the TV and within a very short period of time it went bang. May have had something to do with our recent lightening strike that fritzed our router and phones. So to Curries website - mind boggling in design and nothing can be collected or is out of stock unless it costs £2K. Argos! "We'll get it there in two hours".

And it is big! Like sitting in the front row at the Odeon (without the sticky carpets and the rank stink of pop corn). The set up literature was ludicrously inadequate but being a man I disregarded it anyway. Mrs FP managed to get it assembled and working while I wandered about cursing 

Ultra super HD Mega billions pixels...I could have reached out and touched Emma Willis on the One Show. I think I may have.