Want an Irish accent?

I've been a bit out of sorts lately. Could there be something missing from my life? I began to wonder whether an entirely new persona might be the ticket? Maybe I should learn a new language to go with the new adopted persona?

Catching me right in the midst of these deep thoughts was this sign offering a solution. Of course! What I needed was an Irish accent, and how convenient that I could acquire one by simply chewing some special gum!