Aaaaaaargh!

Saw this in the car parked in front of me today...it seemed to pretty well mirror what's going on inside my head. From the cell my detached self inhabits I am ware of all sorts of conflicting moods and emotions fighting for ascendancy in my drug soaked brain.

The sun is out - happy.

I am keeping up my campaign to push myself into making small steps each day in dealing with the kipple and problems that have built up around me as a result of both my physical and mental inability - hopeful

Health centre are in computer meltdown due to the current reorganisation and as a result I have run out of some meds and the vital ones are almost gone - panic and frustration

My new antidepressants are still amplifying all my emotions - good and bad, so I am simultaneously euphoric, miserable, hopeful and ready to head butt the next person who causes me the most trivial irritation,

The change in antidepressants was part of a larger effort to break out of the downward drifting I've been caught in for so long, I'm not sure whether I'm succeeding in getting things done because of the meds or in spite of them....I suspect the latter.