Water Lilies

A trip to Bodnant leads me to the terrace lily ponds, which in turn leads to today’s impressionistic Water Lilies ‘abstract’ - with apologies to Monet. And as an extra there’s a distant dipper - I’m quite amazed I captured this at all considering the light deep down in the dell. 

Yesterday’s entry was uncharacteristically brief - and thank you so much for your kind comments stars and hearts. I mentioned my NHS frustrations, but with no explanation. To be honest, the whole thing is way too complicated and ludicrous to explain in full, but today I’m adding something of the situation - very much a rant - so please feel free to not read on! 

Trying to steer a way through the crumbing ruins of our NHS is daunting. I’m mixing metaphors, but there are rollercoasters, brick walls and inefficient bureaucratic mazes everywhere. A real life game of snakes and ladders; you climb a ladder, breathe a big sigh of relief, take one step forward and suddenly you find you’re sliding down a snake. 

Ten days ago I climbed a ladder, saw consultant X, and thought the way was clear to having the procedure I’ve been waiting for for over a year. 

Yesterday, when I phoned up to find out when this was likely to be, unexpectedly I found the snake and slithered down. Consultant X doesn’t want me on his list, as apparently I’m already on consultant Y’s list from last year, but consultant Y says he now wants to see me in his clinic, despite the fact I’ve just seen consultant X, had the tests etc. Secretaries and appointment clerks are either on holiday now, or going on holiday - or the consultant himself is on holiday - so I can’t even get a date for yet another consultation let alone the operation. I feel I’m trapped inside a Sisyphean nightmare. I honestly don’t know whether I’ll make any progress, but if I wasn’t pushing for answers or for dates, I wonder whether anything would ever happen.

And this is just a simple procedure - nothing like the complexities of my mystery ‘illness’, investigations into which are thankfully being coordinated in Liverpool University Hospitals where there does at least seem to be some organisation and communication. 

So many people are trapped in similar - or far worse situations. Right now, I’m on the verge of booking into Spire or Nuffield and just paying up - but they’re so inundated by the overflow from the NHS that everything’s a waiting game here too. I despair for those who could never afford private treatment, or for those who aren’t able to keep challenging the system -  a system which is very definitely broken.