Food odyssey

Being a techie sort of person, I like to think that when faced with some unknown piece of kit that it doesn't take much for me to get up and running. Not so, as I spent this evening trying to avoid the above scenario i.e. not having any dinner.

The hob in our new flat is a black futuristic Obelisk transported from the future into my kitchen with few readable symbols to determine its origin. Instead it tries to communicate through a sequence of beeps, which are sometimes interspersed with the odd flashing dot before shutting itself off completely.

The only cryptic clues are the words "IN" in the middle of each ring, inviting me to align each pan perfectly in accordance with some unseen design, but to no effect - instead it just sits there, lifeless and cold, mocking my human need for sustenance. There's a "P" marking too, but again it refuses to do anything beyond multiplying the possible reasons why the damn thing won't turn on.

I'm off to get a cheese sandwich.