Spring is finally here. It's cold but the leaves are finally appearing. Life is back to full speed and it's too much. I can do it because Im strong but it's no fun. At least Im only working for four days a week from September and I've told school that I no longer want to be Head of English or Head of Curriculum. I will simply be in charge of French. The effects of this will hopefully be massive and I will be able to enjoy teaching without being pulled in all directions.

Im having another operation in June and will be off work for a month. During a routine scan they found a cyst which they think isn't cancerous but they cant be sure. As my faulty gene puts me at a very high risk of ovarian cancer and this is where the cyst is , I have just had a blood test for ovarian cancer. Getting blood was a bit of a problem as Im now completely terrified of needles after the chemo. They're going to give me diazepam next time.

Im surprisingly calm considering Im in the middle of a bit of a nightmare, and I feel very alone. I look ok and Im back at work so everyone there just thinks Im absolutely fine. It's too hard to explain to them and they dont really want to know. Cancer is too scary to talk about for most people so I dont try.

One year ago today I went to the doctor with a lump.