Taste police

After 20 years the front door looked like it needed a freshen-up. The basecoat is a lurid shade of pink, but will be covered with a mahogany woodstain once it's dry. Unfortunately this neighbourhood has its own taste police in the form of busybodies and (anonymous) complainers. When we had a new garden fence erected (local yobs wrecked the old one), the wood came pre-treated with a pale pink preservative. Before I could slap on the dark oak stain we had visits from council officials saying that someone had complained about the colour, on the day it went up! While they were there they did some measurements and discovered the fence was six inches higher than stipulated in some obscure guidelines kept in a locked filing cabinet in a dark cellar behind a door marked "beware of the leopard" (apologies to Douglas Adams). We had to take it down and apply for permission (in triplicate) to put it back up. It being a conservation area you can't even sneeze without permission it seems.