Laurentian comes to town

While lots of people would spend the day-before-leaving-on-a-trip time doing something useful like packing, I went down to Carleton University (Mrs. Ottawacker and Ottawacker Jr. in tow) to watch my godson’s university soccer team play against the Carleton Ravens. Yes, Laurentian University was in town: lock up your daughters.

It was a calamity. Laurentian lost 8-0; they were lucky to get nil, and it could have been much worse. The only consolation for me was that Nico was man-of-the-match, despite being a defensive midfielder in a team that had neither defence nor midfield (nor goalie nor attack, come to think of it). It was a shambles. Laurentian was outmatched everywhere and they seemed to be playing a system that didn’t suit them or their players. Playing in a 4-4-2 (I think, who the fuck knows?) system, the two strikers were making runs toward defenders, playing too close together or too far apart, running deep when they should have been going wide… as my old coach used to tell me, “son, you couldn’t score in a brothel.”

The goalkeeper was hardly the shining inspiration I had hoped Ottawacker Jr. would see: mind you, nor was Carleton’s, he was subbed off at 60 minutes without having touched the ball. (The substitute keeper took forever to come on, and for a moment, I thought they were bringing on an 11th outfield player.) His kicking was weak and uncoordinated; unfortunately, that was the strongest area of his game. The defenders looked solid for the first 10 minutes; by then, it was 2-0 to Carleton, and they sort of stopped doing anything right after that. Passes went astray to midfielders or were played across their box, causing panic and confusion throughout the team. As I said, shambolic.

So, what of the midfield? The wide players made no progress down the wings; every pass they received into an advanced position followed the same pattern: receive the ball; check inside; play back to defender. Thoroughly disheartening.

Thank God, then, for Nicolas Patenaude. I saw him make three weak passes in 90 minutes (one of which was down to communication and his team mate turning his back on him when he passed it). Other than that, he was excellent (I am proud to say, because I would be slagging him off – albeit more gently – were he not). He ran between the lines, made himself available systematically, received and passed with conviction, supported the defence and attack, and was never caught in possession. He was seriously the stand out player from both sides.
Unfortunately, with other areas of the team being so weak, all Carleton had to do to score was change the angles of attack and shoot.

Now, I know how hard it is to play against a stronger team. But three things stand out for me here. First, formation. When you have limited players (and I coached limited players at times), you cannot play 4-4-2 and leave spaces all over the park. You play 4-5-1 in a very compact and narrow system, have pace on the wings and you most skilful player either as a libero or at the top of the midfield. You practice patterns of play that get you moving as a unit, so you know where you are to be when defending, transitioning or attacking. You close down space.

Second, this modern fixation with playing out from the back. It’s great, if you have players who can, you know, pass the ball and, you know, play out from the back. If you have a left back whose second touch is always a tackle, you don’t do it. Given the goalie’s propensity to kick the ball to an opponent, I know why they do it, but if your only safe option is to give it to the midfielder, it is not long before the opposition figure that out and they close down said midfielder. If you go long, you place your midfielders wide to create space in the midfield, and then try to turn the opposition around. I mean, it is not frigging rocket science.

But the biggest disappointment was decision making. Here is an example of the ethos of the team. Last week, Nico scored two stunning free kicks from outside the box against the Royal Military College. Screamers, both from outside the box, both left the keeper with no chance. So this week, they get a free kick outside the box (admittedly, it was 7-0 at the time), and Nico shapes to take it. Up comes the captain, takes the ball off him, and shoots closer to the corner flag and Elon Musk’s satellite than the net. Incomprehensible. I’d have subbed him off immediately, taken the armband off him, and sent him to sit in a corner facing the wall. Not a Laurentian defensive wall, obviously, that would be cruel.

I went to see Nico after the match and he was incapable of speech. Poor bastard, I know how he feels. When I was younger, a team I was playing on lost 12-1 to some other nonentities. I ran around kicking people, trying to get sent off so I could avoid the humiliation. I couldn’t even do that right. The difference is that Nico can play, is fit, and talented. It’ll be very interesting to see what he does next.