UFO

Actually no. Identified and not flying (thankfully).

Stairwell sconce light, now with three new LED bulbs.

The answer to the question is two — one of us holding the thing so that it didn’t come crashing to the ground; the other screwing in the hoodaki (you many know it as a whatchamacallit or a thingamajig) that fastens it to the base. 

When they say they don’t make things like they used to, this is actually true. 

The man (I’m guessing, but hear me out) who made this died without passing on his secret (and there’s your clue). Now, no one knows how to get the concentric swirls looking the way he did.