Feel the Fear

It takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. For a behaviour to become automatic. It can happen quicker and it can take a lot longer. Some people are better suited to forming habits than others. A consistent routine of any kind isn’t for everyone.

I form habits easily. I’m stubborn, bloody minded and determined. I completely acknowledge that this isn’t always a good thing but on the other hand it means that when I set my mind on something I usually always see it through.

My running journey over the last year has been truly amazing. I started my run streak on 29th October 2021 not really knowing how long I would keep it up and I trained hard for my ultra-marathon, sticking to my plan and my marathon and I’m only 6 half marathons away from getting to my goal of 52 for the year.

But what happens when you get to the end? What happens when you have reached your goal of running every day for a year?

What happens is that I have to acknowledge that it is most definitely a habit. A way of life that I have created where I have to run every single day. However, I knew there would come a time where I would have to make myself have a day off. Not because I feel I need to (if there was ever a day for that it would have been after running 100k), but because if I don’t then it will get ever harder to take that day off. I said recently it’s important than you rule the run and the run doesn’t rule you and since I finished my year streak, I couldn’t bring myself to take a day off. So it seems like the run is certainly ruling me.

So today is the day. I have not been for a run and I will not run until tomorrow. I’m breaking the streak. I have new goals for the next year that I want to achieve and I know it is hugely important to do this now so I can focus on my new goals.

Like an habit formed, breaking it is tough. I have been back and forth a hundred times today. Will I regret it tomorrow? Should I just keep going? Break it another day? But we grow and become stronger by doing things that are difficult. We don’t grow and become stronger if we keep doing what we have always done. Feel the fear and do it anyway. So today, I have felt the fear. From when I woke up and started to contemplate whether I can actually do this, and I’m sure I will feel the fear until my head hits the pillow tonight. But when I wake tomorrow it will be done. There will be no changing it. And tomorrow I can start working on my new goals, forming new habits.

Why do I need to have goals and form habits? I have accepted that it is in my nature, in my makeup to need structure, plans and goals in order to feel happy, stable and alive. And I’m okay with that. I’m more than okay with that. We are all different… when I started this journey and began to document it and share it with the world I did it not only for my own personal memories but in the hope that I might inspire people. If I can inspire one person to put themselves out of their comfort zone then I have accomplished what I set out to do. Today I am out of my comfort zone and I will see it through. Because tomorrow I will be stronger, more resilient and more determined because I did.

Thank you for following my journey… the next chapter is about to begin.