Birthday Tears

It was always going to be a strange birthday given everything going on. I was awake early while everyone slept so took myself off for a walk in the rain. Home to open cards and present from OH - a wishbone ring that’s not a wishbone?!?! I tried to fake it but I think he knew? I did tell him not to get me anything for my birthday but then had an idea. A wishbone ring that used to belong to my Mum which Aimee now wears. Cousin L had one made and No.1 is getting one for E’s 18th birthday . I wanted to have one to be the same and follow the trend/tradition? However he went a bit ‘off piste’ and it’s a gold band with a tiny kink in it. I do feel bad and should be grateful for his choice but………? At least it wasn’t a hoover or croquet set?

We had an enjoyable lunch and a bottle of wine at the TT. No.2 was chatty and No1 was a bit quiet but we had a good time. Home to light the fire and watch football (?) .

Celebrity Jungle started tonight and that will be a welcome distraction over the next few weeks.

Photo is of the words JC wrote in my card - which made me cry. He said ‘just wait till you hear my wedding speech’ …. That’s bound to be emotional.

Conversation with No.1 about wedding plans. So much to think about, do they cancel (and do small scale event) and lose deposit and more or go ahead and postpone/delay chemo until after the wedding? Too much to think about but I’m hoping they go ahead as planning and looking forward will be a distraction for the next few months.

Appointment tomorrow for more scans and mask making then follow up appointment on Tuesday with consultant. JC will have lots of questions and is appointed voice/advocate on No.1’s behalf.

I’m wishing time away and want it to be my next 65th birthday when it should all be over?