Torrential Tuesday

Well, it has been quite a day. I have got next to nothing done. I really struggle with this. Before I was ill, I was a highly productive, ambitious person who lived to work, loved working, loved going out and enjoying myself with friends and had many hobbies. 

Today, as I do so many other days, I just feel like an empty shell of my former self.

Torrential rain most of the day hasn’t helped either my pain, fatigue or mood. I’m fed up of toxic positivity. I have accepted that some days are bad days and that there are some good days but I’m struggling to believe that right now.

I slept all afternoon after waking around 8am, in less pain than usual. I always pay for it later when I wake up like that.

All I want is a decent quality of life, my chronic health conditions to be managed as much as possible and to go back to work. A life partner would be a bonus. 

All my life, I have been a determined, hardworking person and I feel that it’s got me nowhere. I have two degrees and several other qualifications - meaningless pieces of paper when you don’t have the wealth of your health.

Today’s Blip is of a copy of Pride and Prejudice which I bought about a month ago. It was the first part in a series so it only cost 99p - I love the novel and have read it many times but I fell in love with the cover, so beautiful. I’m going to try to start re-reading it tonight.

I need to do my Duolingo German revision lesson tonight, I haven’t even had the enthusiasm for that.

Tomorrow, I have a great deal of life admin that I need to sift through and try and sort out. I’m not looking forward to it but I will persevere. 

I hope you’ve all had a good Tuesday and I’m sorry for being such a whinge. I’m not looking for pity, I know everyone has their own personal challenges. I am usually a very grateful hearted person but I feel it slipping by the day.

Thanks as always for all your comments, stars and follows :) xx