Absolute madness

So, before we begin, two things you need to know:

1. Many years ago, so long ago that I don't think I even blogged about it, my university friends, The Good Gang, and I, traversed the 'via ferrata' at Honister Slate Mine. I think it's fair to say that it was an ordeal. I didn't particularly enjoy doing it, but I did like having done it.

2. Out of all my children, Milly loves an activity. When it was her birthday and we met up in Manchester, she was the one who wanted to go bowling. The rest of us rolled our eyes but then ended up having a great time. You need people like this in your life.

Right, all that established... last Christmas, my present to Milly was for the pair of us to do the via ferrata at Honister. I was pretty sure that it would be OK now that I knew what I was getting into, and I thought she'd enjoy it.

Well, one way or another, we haven't managed to actually do it until today, when we got up at seven o'clock and drove up to the slate mine, stopping at Tebay services for coffees and sausage sandwiches.

One thing I noticed as we signed in was that there is a 'Via Ferrata Classic' and a 'Via Ferrata XTREME!'. When I booked the event, I hadn't noticed there were two options. Indeed, I thought the XTREME! label was just a bit of marketing, and not something different. I began to feel a little nervous.

Anyway, Milly and I, along with the other four people who were doing it, went across to the kit room with a lady called Heather, who handed out hard hats and harnesses. The harness fitted at the waist and has two straps about fifty centimetres long and a longer one, about a metre in length. (This will become relevant!)

Kitted out, Heather summoned the bus and we were driven out to the foot of the via ferrata. "So, who's first?" asked Heather and as no one else said anything, I stepped forward with Milly right behind me.

So, the via ferrata primarily consists of pairs of iron hoops set into the rock face. You stand on one and hold onto the other. Running next to the hand hoops is a steel cable and you connect the two shorter straps to that. At each point where the cable is connected to the rock, you have to unclip one cable and re-connect it on the other side of the connection point. Then you do the other strap. Obviously, it's vital that you are connected by at least one strap at all times.

And so we set off. Lord, it's scary, and I was berating myself both for signing up for it and for putting Milly in danger. I worked my way down, along, and back up again. When I reached the rest point, I waited for Milly and a minute later her head popped over the edge. (See my first Extra.)

"It's so scary!" she said with a huge grin, clearly enjoying herself. I have to say that the fact that she was so happy made me feel a lot better and I also consoled myself with the fact that it wouldn't get any worse than that.

We were joined by the rest of the group. One of the women said "You know, I hate my job, but while I was doing that I thought "I love my job!"" It was a bonding moment for us all!

And then Heather explained that the next section involved an overhang, so we'd be leaning out backwards as we unclipped and reclipped. My second Extra shows Milly just coming round the corner, having completed that section. "That was terrifying" she grinned.

Heather had told me to wait at the platform below what was the next set of rungs. Also, leading out from the platform, crossing a gorge, was a set of wires. In cross-section, they formed a diamond: a top one, a bottom one, and one out to each side. "Jeez", I thought. "What kind of idiot signs up for that?"

And then I remembered the longer strap attached to the harness. Me. I was the kind of idiot who signed up for it :-(

And so, a few minutes later, there I was: strapped to the top wire, standing on the bottom one, and holding onto the side wires. I've realised now that I haven't mentioned that it rained a lot yesterday*, and everything was wet, including these wires. So, Heather's advice to push out against the side wires was probably sound on a dry day but when I tried it, my hands would start to slip.

I set off. "Push your hands out to the sides, Fenner" my comrades happily called after me as I gritted my teeth and started to make my way across, the side wires wobbling continuously. Lord, it seemed to last forever. Periodically, there was a wire looped underneath, connection the bottom wire with the side ones, which had to be carefully negotiated.

It seemed to take forever. Halfway across, the wire seemed to develop a life of its own. I realised afterwards that that was when Milly set off. My third Extra, taken from the far side, shows Milly and our new friends coming across.

That wasn't the end of it but it was the worst of it. Having traversed the 'infinity wire', we continued up, going through the old slate mine, and out onto the top for a spectacular view over Buttermere and Crummock Water, before walking back down to the visitor centre.

By now, I was on Cloud Nine and as we had lunch Milly and I found ourselves prone to sudden bursts of laughter. What an adventure. What madness!

(On a much less hazardous note, the Minx and I, along with our friend, Ruth Heritage, went to see Bill Callahan at Albert Hall, this evening. We went mainly because Jim White from Dirty Three was playing drums, but I'm happy to say that Bill was absolutely terrific.)

*I actually rang up to see if the event was still on, much to the bemusement of the guy at the other end of the phone.