Blooming......

It has recently come to my attention that I'm a blob, I'm like a Cumberland sausage on legs, I'm not as thin as I once was....

So last night, I bit the doughnut, sorry, bullet, and waddled went off to a slimming club. It was both disappointing and surprising.

I was disappointed, that I didn't have to stand up and declare myself;
'My name is Susan. I am addicted to Maltesers and mature Cheddar (not necessarily together, though I wouldn't automatically rule it out).
I am........a fat lump!'

And I was surprised, that when I stood on the scales, they didn't shriek, 'Gerroff, lardarse!'

So here I am, one day in...........do you think I look any thinner yet?