Botox and bad vibes

After a morning when both of us did work and had meetings on our days off we finally got out of the house around lunchtime and went to Cobham, just for the sake of variety.

Cobham, along with Weybridge and Esher, is one of that ghastly unholy trinity of Surrey Towns where everything reeks of money and there are more upturned noses than a cosmetic surgeon's clinical waste bin. It is also an extraordinarily expensive place where the local high end cafe charged us £14.45 for two hot drinks and one small mince pie. To be fair this did include service which was very pleasant and friendly (but not good enough to merit that sort of hike in prices). And there was a mirror on the ceiling, if you are into that sort of thing. They also tried to charge us £8.50 for a bowl of soup which we didn't have but they graciously corrected that error.

I did check out what I am about to say with TSM as I was afraid that it might be construed as sexist, but she concurred. These kind of Surrey Towns are awash with housewives who look as though they are just killing time, spending money, and planning their next botox treatment. There was one woman sitting with us in the cafe who looked like Mick Jagger's puppet from Spitting Images back in the 1980s. Every other shop in Cobham sells scented candles, highly polished ornaments and shabby chic cushions at vastly inflated prices, and little else. There are a few real shops but these are not much better. I actually saw the greengrocer dusting his raspberries in their little presentation boxes. 

According to the village (!) website

In the 19th century Cobham was home to the poet Matthew Arnold and other famous residents have included Mrs Earle who wrote ‘Pot-Pourri From a Surrey Garden’ and other books, Miss Caroline Molesworth who compiled the Cobham Journals, and the Revd Dr John Trusler who wrote a number of books in the 18th century on topics ranging from farming to etiquette.


Mrs Earle's book apparently is of cultural significance according to Google books. Not sure why or which culture.

If anyone from Cobham - or indeed Esher or Weybridge - reads this I am sure I will be burned in effigy and have howling mobs at my door. I am equally sure there are many decent hard working folk in all three towns. But it really is a rather unpleasant place, and I have to say the driving manners of the locals leave a lot to be desired. I know we drove home as the school run was starting to kick in (which always brings a competitive edge to the roads of Surrey) but the ferocious, mean-looking and unforgiving quality of the people behind the wheel was quite scary. 

We came home to the rough and vibrant streets of Woking and retreated into our own little world after that. But I need to find out why Mrs Earl's book is of cultural significance. It may keep me awake at night ...