Dry mouth

After quite some time in hospitals, I learned that my mouth and lips would become very dry in the warm atmosphere of the ward.

I therefore travel with a small round tub of Vaseline (Petroleum Jelly).
The ever helpful staff tidied up my table and put the item away.
When I asked for help, they then extracted the tin only to notice it was Vaseline and all hell broke  
Apparently Vaseline and Oxygen form a highly flammable explosive compound and with  my nasal oxygen applicator and the evil Petroleum Jelly, I endangered shipping in a five mile radius around my epicentre 

It was soon replaced with this item and order was restored 

Lighten up, People, it’s only Lippy!