Male, Pale and Stale

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I went into the office today and read lots of boring things about dullness.

It's a living.

You may have gleaned that I am still in a period of mourning over Kainga Ora and I guess will remain so until things start being fun at Kiwibank. I think I can turn things around but it will be harder work than I thought. 

I AM working on it. I have a new co-conspirator named Drew. He is in Auckland, but he seems to get me. 

Meanwhile I couldn't be too grumpy on account of lunch with Ellie, Briar and Jess today. We sat outside (in the shade because the sun here will IMMOLATE you if you stay in it for more than 10 minutes) and Ellie caught us up on all the latest office gossip. 

It mainly revolved around a new boss who I shall call "Smock 2" on account of she is a nob-end. Ellie has caught her out lying to staff already and is unimpressed. 

I told Ellie how much I missed our morning chats about work but also poos. 

"Oh my god I was in SUCH pain this morning!" she told me, leaping in. "My stomach was SO distended, and I was almost doubled-over. I nearly googled 'appendicitis'," she admitted. 

"But THEN I had coffee, and I was like, 'hello'," she continued. "But I hadn't finished my coffee and I LOVE my coffee so I got up, clenching my bumhole shut - STILL CLUTCHING MY COFFEE - then SKULLED the rest of the coffee because coffee. Then I went to the toilets and OH MY GOD the floodgates opened with BUMWEES. I was EMPTIED OUT. Stomach distended NO MORE! It was HORRIBLE."

It was quite the description she gave. 

"And THEN I came out of the toilet and who was there but SMOCK 2!" Ellie concluded. "AND I WAS LIKE YEAH! SNIFF IT! SNIFF MY LIQUID DEATH!"

This is why I miss Ellie.

I described the new working environment I am in of deeply professional people who are nearly all white men.

"Male, pale and stale," said Ellie, sadly. "Not you though, Symon, you're different."

I am. I AM different. I've been changed by working with HER - and all the others.

And I knew exactly what she meant. I love working with a mix of men and women. And I love the mix of backgrounds we had in our old team.

But as I was saying, that doesn't mean I'm giving up. Let's see if I can un-stale my new team. I think they are just tired and burnt out from working craply in a crappy way on crap. 

I have ideas. I think I can make things better. Or I shall offgebuggern. Let's just wait and see.

S.