Whose she kidding!

Everyone knows the story of Mary being trailed round the place by the hapless Jo for a hotel room. Well let me tell you she had it good! She didn't have Donald , two wheeled suitcases and 2 rucksacks and Trans Pennine bloody Express to contend with! Plus she still had her wean up her jook.
We rocked up to Central  Station in Glasgow in plenty of time , only to have the damn train delayed by over an hour by which time were were frozen to the marrow.
When we finally boarded the Trans Siberean Express and it seemed all would be well  WRONG! At Lockerbie the voice came on saying we would have to change at Penrith  for another train to take us onwards to Manchester Airport. 
10 minutes later the train manager came on and in his words claimed management had made a pigs ear of things so we now had to stay captive until  Preston.  He said the new onward train would be departing platform 4. 
At Preston  there was a mass exodus  of bodies all with the same intention, getting from our train to platform 4 so they all charged off like a hoard of wilderbeast with us being swept along by this human scrum. Only problem being Donald is useless at rushing and I could see him being swallowed up by these mad lemmings all dragging their internal wheelied cases like something out of the  Squid Games.
We had to rush down a steep skope and I thought if himself lets go the case he eould take out at least 20 like skittles. 
Then suddenly the human lemings tide turned direction and we found ourselves facingvthem down like a charge of elephants!!! Why? Because they had changed the bloody platform!!. By now we had less than a minute to turnbthe hapless Donald to get him following the tide lest we both be trampled and thenvrun over by the damn cases.
We finally boarded the blooming train which was standing room only for the next hour.
There I was like a wee Christmas gnome  sitting on my case wondering what part of the British Isles we would exit in
Finally we reach the terminus then it takes us a further 15 minutes to find a wY out the bloody station to a hotel I could see but somehow we had to go through a dodgy looking bus station then cross a double lane carriage way  in the dark without being killed!
I don't think these weee wheels turned so fast!. 
Eventually  we reached the safety of the hotel. 

I hope the third leg of our journey tomorrow will be less eventual!
So next time you're thinking of feeling sorry for Mary and  Joseph, remember she had it good.