The thing

Ok, here’s the thing. Yesterday, we established that reduced salt versions of things are typically unpleasant. I think we can agree that low-sugar and low-fat versions of things follow suit.

Let me put it to you that rich tea biscuits are among the dullest, driest biscuits ever concocted. They’re supposedly one of the best for dunking because they hold together well, but I still like the dunked biscuit to taste nice in its own right. Even chocolate and hazelnut spreads cannot improve a rich tea.

Let me put it to you that to describe a foodstuff as a ‘delight’ suggests something pleasurable, delicious, even moreish.

Let me introduce you to McVitie’s Rich Tea Delights (see photo). Are these a reimagined rich tea biscuit, perhaps now in sandwich-biscuit form with a tasty cream filling? No. They’re not. They’re like normal rich tea biscuits but with 30% less sugar. How is that delightful?

Let me put it to you that food makers add ‘delight’ to their product names to make a nasty thing seem nice. It works for Turkish delight, after all. They’ll be inventing Marmite Delight next.