Tired, Torrential Tuesday

Well, today has been a bit mixed.

I didn’t get to sleep until 2am and had set my alarm for 6.40am as I had intended to try and shower using the camping chair before the district nurse was due (between 8am and 8pm) and the much awaited and fought for shower seat.

I didn’t manage to get out of bed until 8.30am and felt very dizzy and nauseous. I had my usual coffee (which may not have been the wisest of choices given how my tummy was feeling) and some bread and margarine as I had ran out of porridge. I am a creature of habit and usually have porridge or Greek natural yoghurt with honey and either blueberries or raspberries, whatever is in the fridge.

Anyway, I forced the bread and margarine down. I am fed up of taking paracetamols on top of my fibro med as I am bloody zonked! I try to avoid butter due to the fact that it is full of fat and incredibly expensive! I don’t mind not buying butter because I can take it or leave it - I only really enjoy it on plain scones or fruit scones or on pancakes. 

I felt so weak, I didn’t want to chance falling trying to shower and so decided to make the best of my awful appearance by having a sink wash, brushing my teeth and pinning up my long hair off my face for the nurse coming.

She arrived about 11.40am, she was very pleasant  but in a rush - she kept looking at the clock. She had a lot of trouble removing the old dressing on my burnt foot and it took two small tubes of saline solution (?) water to ease off the dressing from my skin. She said she had expected the burn to have healed better than it had by now so I am feeling rather disheartened and down today. It took her two attempts to dress the wound as the first dressing wouldn’t stick - the second didn’t stick well but was better than the first attempt! I felt for her as she looked harassed and under a lot of stress time wise.

On the plus side, she was very gentle with my throbbing, raw wound and I was incredibly grateful. When she arrived, I was a bit tearful due to my fibro pain and just sheer frustration over my reduced mobility. My right shoulder has been particularly bothering me today and I have zero energy. I think using the walking stick (I’m right handed) has added to the normal aches.

The shower seat arrived and I managed to haul it into the shower. It was surprisingly heavy but I guess it has to be sturdy. I just wish I had had the energy to use it this afternoon but I nodded off for an hour in the chair with the radio on in the background. 

My radio had somehow tuned itself to Radio York (no idea why!) but as my foot was very tender and I couldn’t muster the energy to get up and look at it, I ended up just listening to it and it was actually very enjoyable. I’m usually a Radio 2 kind of woman!

There was one of those Guess the Year/Back in Time segments on and I started singing along to all the songs played, which cheered me up and was a much needed distraction from my pain. I guessed the year right - it was 2000 and I must admit to screaming at all the wrong guesses that people were texting in with haha! I have always loved quizzes and game shows, particularly ones about music or words.

By 4pm, I decided I had wallowed enough in self pity and wrapped up in my waterproof coat and woolly hat to take a walk around the block despite the torrential rain and wild wind. 

I don’t enjoy wet weather due to the fact that it always increases my fibromyalgia pain but it was so strangely refreshing to feel the slap of the rain on my face and get some (very windy but fresh!) air on my face. I have been worrying that I will seize up fibro wise due to having to rest the foot so a short stroll of about twenty minutes was my limit and I felt better for doing it, even though I felt like an OAP (no offence intended OAPs!) having to use my walking stick. I was exhausted when I got back indoors and getting my trainer on and off the afflicted foot was not fun at all. I forgot to ask the nurse for a boot!

Today’s main Blip is me in the rain, not the best picture as I was finding it hard to hold the phone and the stick and balance and the rain was wicked! The extra is of my breakfast bread and margarine.

Haven’t done Duolingo German yet. Going to try to get one lesson done and go to bed early.

I think I might need to ring the GP again tomorrow and ask for a district nurse to come out and look at the dressing as the nurse who came today hadn’t brought those toeless sock supports that hold dressings on the foot. She told me to put a normal sock on and ring up if the dressing became loose, which it has a little. A district nurse is coming back on Friday to assess the healing and dress the wound again. They have been amazing :)

I only had the energy to have a Pot Noodle and some blueberries for my dinner tonight plus a few Twirl Bites. I haven’t eaten much chocolate in two years up until very recently. I think the pain must be making me seek comfort in food!

I have to be careful with that as I have done so in the past and put four stone on - this was when I had fibro, not before. Plus, given my reduced mobility, I don’t want to gain any weight.

I hope you have all had a terrific Tuesday. Signing off a very tired woman tonight!  What a comfort you have all been to me.

I have been considering sharing a bit about how troubled my childhood and adolescence was and I may do it tomorrow if I feel up to it both mentally and physically. I will add a trigger warning if I decide to share it as it could upset some people.

Will catch up with comments, stars and hearts ASAP :) xx