Cross my heart...

Who needs new titles? In a new, green initiative, I am recycling yesterday's title thus helping to preserve the dwindling stock of titles for our children and our children's children.

The days when we could just use up titles as if there were no tomorrow are long gone and we must all adopt a sustainable approach to their rearing and use.

And please don't think that factory farmed titles are the answer. We all know the arguments and, yes, they are cheap but they are also less nutritious and ultimately unsatisfying. Would you be happy subsisting on a diet of "The Bridge From the Embankment" or "Two Lovely Kittens and a ball of Wool!"? I thought not. No, the answer is to get the best value from our titles. So, if you must use "Quelle Surprise!" To illustrate your picture of a puppy looking shocked by a glove puppet, why not consider "Quelle Surprise - Part 2" for your follow-up picture of the puppy ripping the glove puppet's head off? It's better than being forced to use "Untitled No 4,327".

In conclusion, please, think of the diminishing Total when you Title!