Nephew in woolly bunnet

Well, he’s a bit follicley challenged, as he's the first to admit. I’d invited him along to see the famous JT’s (his new local team after all) and while I was up that way I got to see his flat which he’s bought at the maltings. Well done that lad. Just before his fortieth. He proudly showed me his box room. A PS5! 
And Hearts ran out 3-0 winners over St Johnstone. I’ve never seen them lose, he proudly announced in the Diggers afterwards. A lucky mascot then. I suppose I could buy him a season ticket (though I gather there’s a waiting list) or, as he’s a ManU fan, wait for something to make him consider his allegiance. As they’re away at Liverpool on Sunday, perhaps a heavy defeat could make him jump ship. That couldn’t happen could it?