Tomato
This, as you can see, is a tomato. But it's not just any old tomato. This is a Tesco tomato. It was one of a pack of four. Remarkably, each one managed to have the look and feel of a billiard ball, and had very little juice and absolutely no flavour. Three of them got used; one in a salad, one in a sandwich and one in an attempt to cook it down into a sauce. I say attempt, because the pieces didn't change texture even after cooking for quite a while. But here is the remarkable thing; this has never been in the fridge but it is still just as hard as the day I bought it, shows no sign of aging or growing any fungus, and hasn't even started to get wrinkly skin. Yet I bought it on 20th January; that's over six weeks ago. What on earth do they do to their tomatoes to get them like this?
Liz Truss was famously outlasted as Prime Minister by a lettuce. I suspect this tomato will outlive the lettuce.
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