Equinox

Mondays aren't too bad when they start like this.

I drummed a bit of English into my boys' heads and headed to the market for a glass of wine with the lovely Klinck.

This afternoon was more sobering; Doctor's appointment with Bobby to assess him for the home. On the way he held my arm and told me how happy he was. He told me about the posse of nurses who'd brought him shoes to try on this morning (there wasn't and they didn't).  I squeezed his arm back and told him I was happy he was happy.

It was a tick box questionnaire that took little time to full in.   Half of it required Yes/Sometimes/No answers and the other half just Yes/No.
I complained to the Doc that it was a wee bit black and white and there were grey areas which weren't being accounted for but she just shrugged and said that's how it was and went about her ticking.

I settled Bobby back in at home.  He told Lizzie he loved her and loved us all being around him.  My heart fractured as I made them market chicken sandwiches, turned on the heating and put The Crown on it's circular loop.

I took a moment to sit by the river while Bernie did the sisyphusian thing he does; fetching a rock from the river bed that's bigger than his mouth, bringing it up to the bank and rolling it back down again.  Over and over. 

I thought how today would be the same length as tonight; the still point of the turning world.


I went home and poured myself a stiff gin.  The dossier is in the hands of the home now.  They will make their decision tomorrow.

I finished my glass as the sun set and regretted channeling T.S Elliot earlier because here he was in my head telling me that in a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute could reverse.