The Recuperation Zone

One is recovering from an action-packed week in Gartan. The other from having had her reproduction apparatus disabled.

And just to be clear, cats are not allowed in water-based activity centres...

I cannot help but feel sorry for Elio. A cat’s most powerful instincts are hunting and reproducing. The former to grow to a state of sufficient maturity and strength to perform the latter.  And we are denying her the opportunity to ever pass on her cute DNA (with two dominant genes: hissing and swatting).

It’s not just for cats really. These are the two most hard-wired functions in any living thing, from cancerous cells to investment bankers.
And humans are not different, no matter how complex and unique we think we are. The hunting is mostly done in an indirect manner whereby a Lean Six Sigma consultant sells his services to a company translating the instructions manuals for mono wheel scooters, in order to earn digital credits that will enable him to purchase antibiotics-fed battery-pig meat cuts from the “hunter” and Roundup-drenched genetically modified crops from the “gatherer”. 

Likewise, the obscene amount of digital credits earned by the investment banker for his gambling skills (and ability to load the dice) get converted into a flash car with a trident on the grille and the ability to inebriate potential mating partners with Roederer Cristal champagne, thus increasing his chances to fertilise their eggs.  

Sorry little Elio. We took the decision without consulting with you. We deprived you of a most fundamental function. Because we love you. We do.

If it is any consolation, I can assure you that it is not just you that’s hurting. I saw a frightening amount of digital credits leave my account to land on the account of that money-grabbing Greek vet who is no doubt feeding caviar washed down with chilled Chablis grand cru to a potential mating partner, in an attempt to find a target for his swimmers.