Letting It All Out

Another session tonight.
I don't know where to start about todays session but I feel the need to write it all down, just so I can look back on it .

I never know what I am going to say/think/feel when I go into the session. It comes as I feel and think.

The idea of the therapy is that you are reprocessing the brain by looking at an object(in this case the counsellors two fingers) going from side to side for 30-45seconds while you are thinking of yourself in the situation you are struggling with.
After these seconds you are asked to say what you notice, how you feel in your body. This goes on for about an hour.

Tonight I seemed to change my thoughts so radically within 5-10mins as I just let it all out, I surprised myself. We discussed this at the end and I was told this is the brain doing the reprocessing.

Tonight I seemed to focus a lot on what I felt while on jury duty and not about the actual case itself as much as I had done previously. Which is what has surprised me also, as I said you never know what you are going to start thinking about until you are in the moment.

The words I kept using were trapped, alone, angry, sad, I don't understand.

After the session I cried all the way home. I have been left with the feelings of not being able to breathe , tight chested a banging headache and being restless.

I can only hope this is a good way to let it all out and it's the road to recovery.
I think I will be in bed early tonight and hopefully sleep will come.