Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound

"I don't think the car is working, mum".

"Of course it is, it's just the way you drive".

"No, I've got my foot flat to the floor, and it's not revving".

"Don't put your foot flat to the floor, why would you drive with your foot flat to the floor? Stop it and start it up again, maybe the engine didn't catch properly".

"That's better".

2 miles down the road clutch makes very, very scary noise

Boy and I look at each other.

Boy and I look over our shoulders to the back of the car, where the plume of black smoke is starting.

We turn to the front, black smoke now pouring from the front of the car.

"Please use the emergency exits and leave the vehicle by the safest possible means".

"SHIT"

"Oh God".

"Switch it off, why didn't you switch it off".

"I did" says Boy with keys in hand.

Car is still running full whack and getting louder and smoke still pumps.

"Oh god, my bag....." Runs to car grabs bag and drops on grass as I depart.

"Shit -£20 in glove compartment.... Boy - Get £20".

Phones Fire Brigade.... Boss appears from round the corner... "I thought I recognised that car. That's not good".

Traffic has now stopped in both directions. No one can see the road.

Prestwick Airport, behind the fence are contemplating calling Anti-Terror Squad!

Man comes from lorry across the road. Tells Boy to get back in car, start it and stall it. Promises me he won't blow up. Boy does as told. Car stops smoking. Boy and Boss push car round the corner off the main road.

Fire Brigade turn up. Is my old car mechanic. Takes one look at me.... And they all have a wee snigger. Check out the car. All good.

Boy and Me sit on side of road and say "wow ".

Quite a bonding experience.

40 minutes later. Si phones and says, "okay, three missed phone calls, what is up".

His response when I say, "brian blew up and the fire brigade came, but we are okay", was brilliant.