Here's looking at you, kid....

This is Humphrey. Usually, he's quite a chirpy wee soul, but as you can see from the photo, he was a bit scunnered today.

'Is something bothering you?' I politely asked.

'Aye. I'm just sitting here trying to goatie sleep, but every time I shut my eyes, you start yakking on about holidays, puffins, skipping, cameras.....I'm no' kiddin' when I say I don't want to listen to any more of your nonsense, so please Bogart off!'

'Oi! I've come all the way up from Embra to see you and your cute wee beard.'

'Of all the chin joints, in all the towns, in all Aberdeenshire, she flipflops into mine...'