Mum , Ninewells

We met Graham and Morag at the Cafe at Ninewells at 9:30 and then headed to Ward 7. Mum was in good form , she was more herself than last night. She has been branded ‘a character’ by the nurses and has a good friendly relationship with them. Although she didn’t sleep very well last night what with people being admitted. She’s being taken off the Iv antibiotics for the inflamed hall bladder and on to oral in preparation for getting home, if her temp doesn’t spike . Fingers crossed. We need to get her back home.

Mr Hayes was ready to see us after his rounds about 10am. We all trooped to a nearby room, mum and her nurse as well. He started to explain about the scans and how they can flag up something unexpected. And how mum’s scans showed her pancreas and liver have cancerous cells, probably starting in the pancreas. He explained about treatment, and how pancreatic cancer doesn’t have a good success rate, you can operate and treat with chemo and it comes back. He’s a youngish man, very kindly in his manner and good eye contact with his patients. He explained about chemo how people react differently to it but wouldn’t go down this route with Mum given her age and frailty.

He asked us if we had any questions for him and Mum asked him how long she had got. he reckoned around two months, but again, that could be longer. It was hard to hear that. I said to mum that you are brave, and she replied that she was 93, she’s had a good life, not been ill much and it would be much worse if it was a young woman with kids. I said to her that we wanted to celebrate your 100th and she laughed and said that she wouldn’t have reached that!!

Mr Hayes explained that there is a lot of people diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, (it’s the 5th most common in the U.K. I found out) and there is a team that will be assessing the case next week and they will be in touch with us after discussing mums case at the meeting. The GP surgery will also be in touch .

It was hard to hear all this. I said to mum are you ok and she said it’s not really sunk in. I blurted out that we will miss you but she just was matter of fact acht. Maybe it hasn’t sunk in.

She’s right about her age and the diagnosis now. But it’s our mum and she is central to our family life. I cannot imagine right now her not being around. If I haven’t been up to see her then we FaceTime every night I haven’t. If I go anywhere I send her pics and she has lots of questions . We have lots of banter and laughs. Mostly it’s her and S ganging up on me. She says I’m bossy to her but it’s in a good way trying to get her to be careful in the home and not fall and drink her water and look after herself, which she does. It all comes from a good place.

We left mum and headed home. Kept busy all afternoon and out a walk at night it was a beautiful evening. Some texts with mum and then was shattered by evening.

Still can’t believe it really.