Tuesday

I had a disturbed night. I woke the back of two and couldn’t get back to sleep as my mind went whirring in all sorts of directions. I eventually got up and made a cuppa and sat with it and watched some of The Morning Show, my current escapism! Went back to bed with my hot water bottle and fell asleep till 8.

Shopping after dropping my car off for its MOT . Home for croissants in the garden. Then we went out to Gloagburn for eggs, chicken and an empire biscuit for Mum. Up at mum’s to make her lunch. Her appetite isn’t great so try to temp her with tasty food. Worrying. As we were going out the door she told us her high toilet seat was broken. I mentioned it to the warden who said she would get the plumber to fix. I said it is urgent as it must be done today and then she called me later to say it’s not the council that does it she needs a new one at the place in Inveralmind that holds all the OT equipment. We went there and seemingly it needed another referral from OT (even although she already had the big high toilet seat). I said she had just got out of hospital and is extremely wobbly and it’s highly dangerous as danger of her sliding to the floor. So she went and got me another one….

Up to mum at night to give her her tea and fix the new toilet seat. She ate most of it. Our GP, Dr Walker called and was going to come up and discuss a carer, district nurses, palliative care amongst other stuff but upon hearing from me that the multi discipline team from Ninewells will meet this Friday and will be discussing mums case then and she will await the report and come up next Thursday instead of this Friday. She’s very nice, and kind.

Sometimes I feel this isn’t happening and other times it grips me hard.

I was going to go down to see my friend in Gateshead on Thursday as mum said to go but thinking of it. 3 hours in the car and staying away a night and three hours back I just can’t face it I think we will climb a hill instead