Can I join you Bean?

I’d like to curl up and switch off the world for a wee while.

Brother #3 is desperately ill again. He was discharged from hospital a week go, apparently ‘over’ the pneumonia and with the perforated bowel not giving him any more trouble. He’d had a pretty awful four weeks there, with terrible lack of communication within the hospital and from medical staff to my other 2 brothers, who have his Power of Attorney. 

Their visit earlier in the week was beautifully timed. #3 was lucid enough to know who they were and to speak to them a little, although he tired terribly quickly. It’s great that they saw him when they did.

The pneumonia appears to be back and he is barely conscious. He can’t breathe properly and he has various other symptoms which mean he may well slip away quite soon. 

The wonderful care home staff are looking after him much better than in hospital, so it has been agreed that he will remain at the care home, with his GP in attendance as needed. 

I spent two hours this morning speaking to #2 brother and then to #1 brother. Each offered and received love and support from little sister. We all dread #3’s death, but we all hope it’s gentle and quick. And we spoke about the inevitable shock to come, because no matter how much we prepare ourselves ….

I managed some therapeutic gardening with G later in the morning. And I have an easy, well-written book in which I got lost for much of the afternoon. Bean is caring for me.