3 Generations

My Mamaw, Mom and me at my grandmothers retirement. This is one of the few pictures that I have of my mom. She also holds most of the pictures of me as a child so it happens to be one of the few pictures I have of myself as a child.

It always makes me sad to look at it, but I don't let myself hide it, because the roller coaster that has been my life with my mother is a part of me.

I left when I was 15. She always says it that way, "when you left me..."

I realize now that I have kind of a complex about that phrase, as I am not really a "leaver."

The truth is she was gone long before I ever left her presence. And 17 years later she's really never walked back in, but it still doesn't change the story, I left her.

But I love her. And I ache for life to be kind to her. It just doesn't ever seem to go that way for her.

Lots of days I walk past this picture and say a prayer for her and move past it. Today it struck me every time I looked at it. So I decided to let my heart do what it needed to and pay a little attention to it.

It also made me so thankful for my Aunt and Uncle who took me on and became the parents that I dreamed of. The ones that know you for who you really are, the ones who you are always in trouble with, and the ones who despite all that love you relentlessly. Most kids aren't so blessed.