This summer ...

I'm very aware that this summer is whizzing past now that I've been at home for almost a couple of weeks without going anywhere. I think we had our proper summer weather in June when it was so hot and dry, but conditioned as I am by years of being ruled by school holidays - from infancy till I was 60 - I can't but feel slightly disappointed when the weather is as changeable as it is right now. Today the change happened through the day, so that photo of my garden in the morning, looking all bright and cheerful in the slightly random way that seems to accompany my attempts, shows the sunshine that vanished by afternoon. It's now been raining with increasing commitment for seven hours ...

Apart from a little dead-heading and, later, hanging out some washing, I didn't spend enough time in that sunshine; instead I made bread, delayed over coffee, and worked on some poems and comment thereon for this talk I'm giving next week. It's been rather fun preparing this, especially as the poems are my own so I'm the expert.

We went down to Loch Striven for a walk before we'd realised that the rain was indeed marching up from the south; we could see the thick clouds down the Firth as we drove and by the time we turned to go back to the car Bute was being shrouded in mist while the head of the loch was still clear. We didn't quite make it...

I was interested to note that at one point this morning I had one of these moments of contentment that I recognised from childhood, when I was on holiday in the house on Arran and even though it was raining I had places to play outside that were secret caves (in reality a hollow rhododendron) and books to read and that security that comes of family and friendship and a loved place. I realise the triggers were to do with not having anything I actually had to do at any one time, and having more pleasant things to do than I actually could fit into the day - ordinary things, like reading and eating and drinking a glass of wine and going to Compline online in the evening. I've not exactly been feeling particularly self-aware in that way recently - more taken up with trying to get back to normal, I suppose.

Probably won't last - but good to recognise.