Hedging.....

Oh Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, aren't you just the most adorable thing!

Tiggy-Winkle? Did you actually call me Mrs Tiggy-Winkle?

Yes, I did. What's wrong with that?

I'll tell you exactly what's wrong with that. One, I'm a MR Tiggy-Winkle. And two, my name's not bloody Tiggy-Winkle.

Well what is it then? Snuffles? Spikes? Pricks?

I'm going to ignore that on the grounds that I'm a gentlehog. Anyway you wouldn't understand my name, but translated into English from Hedgespeak, it's something like 'Great Worm Muncher and Supreme Ladyhog Lover'.

You made that last bit up, didn't you.

Hah, there's no fleas on you....

Yeah, that's because I'm standing well back. But come on, just tell me your flippin' name!

If I tell you, will you bugger off and leave me alone?

Yes. Promise I will.

I was named after my father, ok? This is NO reflection on me!

Oh for heaven's sake, just tell me.

It's Winkle. Mr Little-Winkle........