Nero Moment

I had a revised appointment for my pneumonia jag this morning. It’s a one off one seemingly also protects against meningitis and sepsis. Anyway I had it and it was practically pain free getting it.

Round to Nero afterwards for a coffee and croissant .

The rest of the day passed by and had a seat in the garden. My mind started off on a downward spiral with every negative thing I could think up for instance my mum asking me to put pasta in the mince I made and froze for her and I put the pasta tubes instead of the spaghetti that she meant me to cook . And I didn’t get a chance to make more to rectify.(she’d tell me off for being silly talking about this). And then the last time I took her to the doc, the Friday before she went into hospital I chatted to the receptionist who I used to work for while she was sitting in the chair, which was just across from where I was standing. And how even these last 17 days when she came out of hospital it didn’t register fully that she was rapidly declining until two days before when she mostly slept. It’s a long list of failings that I can’t get out of my head and just making me so sad and regretful. I’m sorry Mum.

I think I’ve got too much time to think now.