A Break in the Clouds #1

Thank you so much for your kindness yesterday - for your support, sympathy and understanding, and in some cases for sharing your own experiences. It’s easy to feel a little lost and isolated at times like these, but the blip community opens up its arms with a big collective hug - so much appreciated. And to think i used to think that Blip  was just about taking photographs! 

I must admit the day starts  with me drowning in despondency. I phone the GP surgery - a struggle in itself as many blippers know all too well, then spend all day waiting for a callback which eventually comes at 5.45. She’s kind and understanding, feels depression is very common in a long term illness like my own even without the catheter, and will happily prescribe a ‘mood enhancer’ - though, as I suspected, it will take several weeks to kick in. I also spend some time writing to my lead consultant in Liverpool.

I feel both actions help me feel more in control, which is good. One of the worse things about illness is, I feel, how you lose
control of your life, so taking action, however small it may be, helps. 

It’s very much a sedentary day, with lots of rest - and yes, I probably need it. But by the evening, I’m ready to go out, so when G offers to drive me to Llandudno I need little persuasion. It’s been a lovely sunny afternoon, but typically now the clouds have come and it’s hard to find a break from solid grey. Yet behind the looming bulk of the Great Orme, there’s a tantalising glow of pinkish gold. 

By the time we reach West Shore, the gold is just a patch appearing from a crack within the clouds. It’s distinctly chilly, feeling more like November than the end of August, but leaving G sitting in the car, I make my slow way to the beach to photograph the changing colours as the sun slips down. Yes, it’s cold, but this is very much  my ‘happy place’ where I can forget pain, discomfort and frustration, just focusing on the ever-changing beauty unfolding before my eyes. 

Back home, it’s the ever-present problem of choosing my blip from the many shots I’ve taken. I’ve been very disciplined for the last few days and posted single shots, but it’s a sunset set today - and as usual, I’m very indecisive. I’m tempted to go for a ‘silhouetted figure’ once again, but decide on something different - for now at least! 


I’ve been dipping into journals, but I’m behind again; hoping to catch up later.