Letting go

Today I woke up in agony (as usual at the moment) with my ongoing neck/shoulder problem, took as many pain killers as I could and a small rucksack as my handbag was causing me pain and went to Brighton to help my Mum, we went through more clothes and scarves, she wove this at school, today it went in the bin....

We looked through 3 shoe boxes of old Christmas cards, she kept about 6 of them....
She had another fall today just before I arrived, the 3rd in a month and has really hurt her arm which she couldn't use, she was taking a bag out to the bin and fell backwards, there was no need for her to try and do it, I guess she doesn't want to stop trying to do things but she really shouldn't - it's such a worry.

I found today was very hard (it varies), Gerry, her partner was there sorting through things and wrapping glasses etc, I told my Mum she mustn't drive anymore or go out on her own, if she falls on the street it could be very bad, she has always been fiercely independent and capable and has had to fend for herself for a lot of her life, it must be very hard for her to adjust as her limitations increase.

I am ashamed to say I felt quite annoyed at times today, I don't feel well, dizzy and headachey, I shouldn't have gone really, Gerry was very positive and said I had helped more than I knew and that she listens to me, I hope so. It is just so frustrating when someone refuses to chuck out old dressing gowns even when they have a nice new one!!! And I mean old as in belonged to her Mother, is full of holes with a mis matched belt - and that is just one of them - she has basically never thrown anything away, it makes me want to get a skip and throw out everything I own!