Fence Works

Yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man...

...no, no, no, not the song, this is a very different story. Well it is not so much a story as a (fairly) factual account of a train trip. The sparrows had not even contemplated farting when I had to drag myself out of bed yesterday morning in order to have breakfast before getting the No.10 up to the station. This was definitely a bit of a facer given the shenanigans with the fire alarm at around 4am the previous night/morning. Why so early? I hear you ask. Well, I needed to be back in the highlands by midday is the simple answer.

Now I am not quite happy with the arrangement as I prefer the more direct route with just the one change in Inverness, but there isn't a direct train until a couple of hours later. So, I am stuck with the alternative of two changes, Perth and Inverness. This is not a problem when it works. When being the operative word here. I had a six minute connection in Perth, which is fine given that it is usually adjacent platforms, and a twelve minute connection in Inverness which is ample time given that Inverness is quite a small station.

I sort of got the feeling that it was going to be one of those days when we got across the Forth Bridge. From Inverkeithing the train was slow, and I mean slow, even the snails were complaining that it was making them look too fast. By Markinch it was running ten minutes late, just enough to blow both connections out of the water. The problem here is that if I didn't make the Inverness connection there wasn't another for three and a half hours. Luckily the conductor had rung ahead and got them to hold the Perth Inverness train for us. Back on track - or so I thought. From Perth to Inverness can be problematic as it is single track running, and I have never yet done this stretch without having to wait for an oncoming train. But, with a twelve minute connection (now reduced to nine with the train being three minutes late leaving Perth) all should be fine, Oh, the optimism.

Well, we rattled along, and I do mean rattled, it wasn't the best train, and it isn't the best line, and no heating didn't help. We were making really good progress by now, there were no stops for oncoming trains. That is until we reached Carrbridge. After we had been standing for a few minutes I was of the opinion that we were waiting for an oncoming train. By half an hour sitting there, with no information given, I was of the opinion that this was more serious, also that my chance of making my connection was sunk without trace. It was only after about forty five minutes that we were told that it was a problem with a freight train on the line ahead.

So, I thought it better to be sitting here for a while than in a cold Inverness station for over three hours. Around the hour and ten minute mark there was another announcement that the train would be going back to Aviemore and that we were to catch the next train heading north. Instantly I spotted the faulty logic here, we go back to Aviemore and get on the next northbound train only to find ourselves back at Carrbridge in the same situation as we at present found ourselves. Others also spotted this faulty logic and began getting off the train to go in search of taxis. I thought this an immensely good idea.

Now Carrbridge is basically the middle of nowhere, and no taxi rank at the station. So I try various taxi firms without success. Well, there was one offer  by a kind gentleman offering me Carrbridge to Inverness for £120 in cash up front - needless to say I (politely) informed him that he could go boil his heid. I was about to try another when the people who had got off with me waved me to stop. She was having a conversation with someone and asked if a 'lost soul' could get a lift also - this was seemingly fine. She finished the call and told me a friend was coming to pick them up, and that I was welcome to a lift. By now we were all freezing and as the lift wouldn't be there for half an hour we went in search of coffee, and warmth. This I paid for as a thank you for their kindness.

It transpired that my 'new friends' were heading for Inverness prison to give some sort of workshop. I was quite fascinated by the three way conversation in the car which struck me as rather odd. Then the woman turned to me and asked if I had worked out that I was in a car with three Church of Scotland ministers - I sort of had.

The driver kindly went out of his way to drop me at the station - much appreciated. However it is still a hour and a half or so until the next train in the right direction - the train for Wick. What to do now? Ah, the Ness and Thistle, beer, I come to the conclusion that I deserve it. One difficulty arises, and that is that it is not easy to make one beer last an hour and a half. Anyway back onto a train, the only one of the day with any heating on, and heading in the right direction. An hour and a half later I get off in Tain, only three and a quarter hours later than had been anticipated when I left Waverley almost nine hours before.

Now, there is an earlier train out of Edinburgh that I could have caught, and that wonderful science called hindsight tells me that if I had taken that option all would have been fine - probably good that whatifs don't run the world...