Entirely predictable.....

Capricorn: In May, you adopt a surprisingly large kitten from the Cat & Dog home. This coincides with the mysterious disappearance of your eight prize budgies, next door's labrador and the local Scout leader. (Perhaps you should pay more attention - do domestic kitties usually have yellow and black stripes and a roar that can shatter the upstairs windows?)

Leo: A chance meeting with Prince Harry at the local Oxfam shop (he's handing in a few thousand copies of 'Spare' that are going, well....spare) leads to an argument about inheritance. At least you think that's what it's about....he definitely says he's got a problem with his crown jewels....

Sagittarius: In October, an excited expert on the Antiques Roadshow dates something of yours as being 'early Georgian, albeit with some irreparable cracks and obvious signs of mouldy superglue holding it together.'
The good news....mouldy superglue can be replaced.
The bad news....he's talking about your face.