Quiet News Day

This is a fairly tame front page headline from today's Daily Star of Scotland. 
I don't know anyone who has ever bought this paper, but it's usually worth a glance at the cover in the passing. Its sister paper The Sunday Star became quite famous for its outlandish headlines, including:

World War 2 Bomber Found on Moon, 14 August 1988
World War 2 Bomber Found on Moon Vanishes, 21 August 1988.
Bus Found Buried At South Pole, 12 February 1989.
Aliens Turned Our Son Into A Fish Finger, 1996.
Donkey Robs Bank, 14 July 1996.
Marilyn Monroe is Alive & Working as a Nanny, 26 January 1998.
Woman Gives Birth To 8lb Duck, 30 June 1990.
Statue of Elvis found on Mars, 1 October 1989.

Are there equivalents in your locale??