Email from Caro: Boston/Chicago

Boston
The fashion statement: Men with tattoos in tight singlets (called "wifebeaters" shirts?!) and shorts


Women: long straight brown hair with blonde highlights rolled into a shark claw clip, urban funk or Sloane Ranger style

As a city, Boston was very pretty and very English looking considering they did away with those "damned English" all those years ago.  The Boston Tea Party is re-enacted daily and all the historical buffs go along and play a part, most of them expecting to sit about with a teapot marvelling over some English Breakfast or Earl Grey blend. 

All the beautiful old buildings are protected, so if a developer buys a site, the building is gutted from the inside while the outer brickwork and architecture remains.  Beacon Street is the street address of choice if you fancy a brownstone, wrought iron, leafy trees and you’re loaded.  Newberry Street is very long and is shopping central.  At one end was the likes of Urban Outfitters and Tower Records and the other Gucci and Prada.  

In between were some restaurants and cafes to alert the average shopper they were entering the rich or the student funky zone.  Naturally, our backpackers hostel ($87 per night!!) was at the studenty funky zone, where we explored loads of second hand music stores.  I saw Symon hovering over Johnny Cash’s recording in San Quentin Jail, while I considered yet another T shirt from Urban Outfitters and wondered whether I could sneak a set of pink flamingo Christmas tree-type lights into my backpack without Symon seeing…

The "Big Dig" has been going on for years and will continue for a few more. They are building a massive motorway under the city with 10 lanes on either side.  In the meantime, the whole city looks like a construction site featuring "detour" signs, men in reflective gear standing around smoking or operating heavy machinery.  As a result, all our photos of Boston feature a landmark of some sort with either a bulldozer, piles of old concrete and rubble or some git in a hardhat getting in the way.

But Boston, for me, will always be where people speak funny and home of "The Haircut from Hell". Michael of Irish Catholic descent, who told wonderful stories, was drug-free and alcohol-free, had been back to the home country numerous times ,had a seventies shag haircut and the tan from hell gave me a pudding bowl style instead of a funky bob.  Plus an ash brown dye job instead of dark chocolate brown, and rather than a choppy short funky "bangs", I got straight across, very short, “look like a f*ckwit” fringe.

It was the first time Symon has ever lied to me about my hair.

"Oh, yeah, it looks…good".

Trauma of such magnitude, I cannot even write the words.


Chicago
The fashion statement: Very urban city dweller New York style, lots of strappy sandals

I love Chicago.  It rocks.  It’s been home to Al Capone, Hugh Hefner, Jerry Springer, the Blues, the rudest staff at a diner ever (Ed Debevic’s) and our friend, Ann, who met on Oz Experience.

And home of the "Corrective Hair Job for Caro". 

The very first thing I did once we arrived in Chicago, was grab the yellow pages and make an appointment.  I decided the only way to rectify my problem was to go to the swankiest place I could find. Charles Ifergan.  As the life doors opened, I was struck with the overpowering perfumes of women swanning about in the salon.  I was introduced to my colourist, Kat and my stylist, Maria and we went into great discussion about what we would do to fix my problem.  Then I was directed to change.  Excuse me? Change? Clothes? For a haircut?

I had to go into a small room, where I was instructed to place my clothes on the hangers and don one of their ugly black smocks.  I wouldn’t have minded so much if hadn’t been flashed by a couple of old girls and their floppy boobs. 

Later, I understood why you have to change.  All the other clients wore Versace, Gucci, Prada, and wouldn’t stand for getting anything on their clothes.  Some clients swanned about with lapdogs, shovelfuls of make-up, clouds of heavy perfume, chatted on mobiles no bigger than a thumbnail and had talons that rivalled the largest bird of prey.  They even had the counter where you pay up high, so when you slipped the tip for each stylist into an envelope, the receptionist couldn’t see how much you had put in the envelope. Then you wrote the name of each girl on the envelopes and slipped them into a mailbox, inside the counter. Very discreet, darlings.

It was fantastic.  What an eyeful.  Kat and Maria did the best job fixing my hair.  I felt dead glam walking down the Magnificent Mile (where all the major shops are) to meet Symon.

Naturally a person who is obsessed with gangsters, owns The Godfather trilogy, has Mario Puzo books, knows the names of the Five Families and watches all those crime documentaries, would take "The Untouchables Tour" of Chicago with her boyfriend.  Our guides, "Southside" and "Al Dente" took us to all the sites of mob interest such as where Dillinger was gunned down, Al Capone’s headquarters, thesite of the St Valentine’s Day Massacre while entertaining us with stories and quips about the "old days" and prohibition.  Though some may consider it inappropriate to emphasize Chicago’s gangster past, Southside and Al say "Baloney!"  

Sadly, most of the places have been torn down and many are now parking lots and garages, but they managed to recreate shootout scenes with a bit of panache.

Did you know: to this day, Al Capone still holds the world record for the highest gross income ever accumulated by a private citizen in 1 year.  $105 million in 1927.  Of course,  he died of syphilis in 1947 mad as a hatter.  Take note, Bill Gates.

We tried to get tickets to the Jerry Springer Show, ‘cos we love it, we’re addicted.  Especially with such titles as "Tales of Forbidden Love" which had a husband and wife married for 9 years and the wife discovering the husband was not only sleeping with her mother, but also her sister, who was now pregnant and only 18.  The audience went wild when the wife said "I met him when he working on a tug boat".
"Tug boat loser, tug boat loser!"

The excitement, the tension, the drama.

Sadly, we discovered Jerry is having his summer hiatus and taping didn’t start until 2 weeks after we were due to leave.  Bummer.  We settled for a typical touristy shot of Symon standing outside the studio and a sign for the show.  Class.

The hotel we stayed in was called the "Allegro" and usually costs around $300 per night, but because we booked through an internet agency, we saved over $200 per night.  (We had decided to treat ourselves and Chicago and Boston are not very cheap at all when it comes to hotels).  It was all very art deco, in the theatre district and had Aveda products in the bathroom, a huge TV and a stereo system. 

I met a fabulous Drag Queen in the elevator -she was over 6’8 with her platinum blonde beehive and silver strappy sandals.  The blush was a bit vicious but the eye make-up was great.  I wouldn’t have worn the white trouser suit -especially with the diamantes all over it, but who am I to dish out fashion tips after my hair debacle?

My favourite feature of our room had to be "the honour bar" (for which they charge you after you’ve left). In the "honour bar" were chips, chocolate, mineral water, nuts, Blues CD, harmonica  and an Intimacy kit…(a box of condoms wrapped up to look nothing like a box of condoms).  A Harmonica!  We had to have that.

Next stop New York!