Over Yonder

By Stoffel

Las Vegas

We also made our way to the Liberace museum, which "Lee" himself founded during the late 1970's when he became obsessed with his own death and determined to create something lasting*.  The result was the museum, and the Liberace Foundation, set up to encourage young musicians.  His collection of cars was even more tasteful than Elvis's - I had no idea you could fit that many rhinestones on a Bentley, or indeed that a Rolls-Royce NEEDED candelabras.  He also had an impressive collection of antique pianos, dating back to the 18th century, but of course the prize of the collection was the jewellry and the clothes.  There was a video of him showing his rings to the fans, ("You may as well see 'em - after all you bought 'em... a-heh heh heh...") which included the diamond-piano ring, a huge amethyst ring given to him by the Queen, and of course a candelabra ring.  Amongst other jewellry was a gold pendant with an elephant lifting a tiny golden Liberace in its trunk at the end, golden diamond-encrusted watches, chains.  It was like The Crown Jewels.  If only Prince Charles could play the piano, and flounced onstage in ermine with his crown on.  He’d be ever so popular with the Old Folk.
 
As for the Liberace’s outfits, we were amazed at how huge and heavy they were.  Also, how the hell did he manage to play, "I'll Be Seeing You" while sitting on a mass of rhinestones?  There is one glaring omission in the museum – you will find no mention of his sexuality, or his eventual death.  The truth is that Liberace lived for devotion, and while he was very good to his fans, never wanted to do anything that would shatter their image of him.  The fact that he was quite obviously gay, and that they all must have known made no difference to him.  Although he undoubtedly made it acceptable to be extremely out onstage, he never came out in life.
 
The sad part being that he was outed in death by some horrid little penpusher at the coroner's office in Palm Springs.  This horrific bodysnatcher insisted that Liberace undergo a post-mortem when his body was already on its way to cremation in Los Angeles.  The body was unceremoniously dragged back to Palm Springs where the coroner got his 15 minutes of fame announcing to the world's press that Liberace had died of AIDS.
 
It's all a bit crap, and a sad end to someone who despite being no great musician, managed to be a legendary entertainer, largely through sheer force of his own narcissism.  (His mansion is covered in murals of himself, looking benevolently down from the ceiling like Zeus.  He even went so far as to have his boyfriend undergo plastic surgery so that he would resemble a young Liberace.)
 
After all this it was back to the casino, (ding-ding-ding-ding-DING!!...  Paul Anka could give lessons in showmanship...  let me show you THE SHAPE OF MY HEART...  jingle jingle jingle...  DOO-doo-doo-DOO-doo-doo...)  We tried to queue for the MGM's buffet, but the queue was ridiculously long and the whole experience was as frustrating as buying dinner for an anorexic, so we had room-service instead after the ordeal of pushing our way through huge crowds of unattractive gamblers.  (Fashion tip for Overweigh Men:  Avoid loose-fitting singlets.  I almost got knocked unconcious by some guy's left tit.)  
 
In order to escape the crowds, we made a stop at the Hard Rock Casino the next day.  This is a bit further off the beaten track.  

If I were going to stay in Las Vegas again, I would stay there as it's a much cooler and less intense casino than those directly on The Strip.  It features a mini music museum around the casino which includes Shania's leopardskin suit (she's TINY) and a selection of Jimi Hendrix costumes (so was HE).  It was a pleasing respite after the insanity that is The Strip.

* It closed on 17th October 2010. The remainder of Liberace's outfits are now house in "Thriller Villa", Michael Jackson's old Las Vegas residence.

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