Las Vegas

What we did do in our search for Old Vegas was the Casino Hall of Fame Museum, located in The Tropicana.  This is a pretty cool place, full of interesting stuff like old gaming chips, memorabilia from the sadly-departed Sands where the Rat Pack used to play, pictures of every single cheesy entertainer who's ever performed there and some of the costumes as worn by the Showgirls.  Good god, those costumes are elaborate.  Covered in sequins and with head-dresses adorned with pink and blue feathers.  They must have been incredibly strong, those women.  I think my neck would have snapped like a twig.  

WILLIAM PETERSON:  My god, this man’s neck snapped like a twig!  He was brutally murdered by 6 
  ostrich feathers and an ENTIRE BUCKET of rhinestones!
 
The entire Tropicana is a bit of throwback to before the days of the super-casino.  It was a slightly seedy feel to it, with a faded, retro air to the place.  It was also the casino where Caroline got flagged down by a woman who worked for the casino:
 
WOMAN:      Excuse me, would you like free tickets to some shows?
CARO:          Yeah!
WOMAN:      Okay - what state are you from?
CARO:          New Zealand.
WOMAN:      Oh shit.
CARO:          What???
WOMAN:      Ooooops!  I mean,  "Shit that I can't give you tickets," because you're not American.  Not, "Shit that you're a New Zealander."  
ME:                Don't worry about it, that was pretty much my reaction too.
 
She was still attempting to rid herself of her tickets when we left The Tropicana, Caro attempted an American accent but she wasn't fooled.  I told her not to expect any tickets when she visited New Zealand.
 
Continuing on a theme, we also arranged to see, "The Rat Pack Is Back!" a tribute show at The Sahara.  The good thing about such shows is that they throw in a free buffet, so Caro and I made sure we turned up early and went back for seconds and and thirds and pudding too.  I would have eaten more, if only I were bulimic, dammit.  The show was MC'd by a Joey Bishop impersonator, and no I didn't know there was such a thing either.   He bounded onto the stage and proceeded to make fun of the married couple at the front of the stage:
 
JOEY:         Hey there!  Whaddaya do for a livin' buddy?
MAN:          I'm a police officer.
JOEY:         Oh shit.  What about your new wife - what do you do honey?
WOMAN:   Nothing, hopefully.
JOEY:         Oh my god, they're Jews.
 
Joey then informed us that the year was 1961, it was Frank's birthday and John F. Kennedy was President ("Hey that President Kennedy, he's a great guy but he has trouble keeping his schlong to himself!  That's a bad influence on the kids of today.  Say, some kid somewhere... oh I don't know... say in some shit-kickin' little town like Little Rock, Arkansas, takes it into his head to become President...")  Then Frank himself came out onstage.  Not the real Frank - that would have been a bit too Weekend At Bernie’s - but a Frank impersonator who looked very little like him and did a very impressive approximation of The Voice too.  He belted out "Come Fly With Me", "Luck Be A Lady" and "I'm Getting Married in the Morning" (to that same couple at the front who were to be the target of abuse the whole evening.)
 
Frank was then interrupted by a rather drunk man, wobbling toward the stage.  Dean Martin!  "Hey pally...  I brung ya a present..."  Frank replied that he was in the middle of something.  "Hey, I was in the middle of someONE," riposted Dean.  "Don't you see these people in the audience?" demanded Frank.  "Well...  Some of 'em..." slurred Dean.  
 
The Rat Pack was indeed back!  It was uncanny, especially as the Dean guy looked a lot like Dino himself and had his singing voice and speech down perfectly.  Dean informed Frank he had bought him some candy as a birthday present.  "And here she comes now," he continued as a woman in a very revealing costume made her way to the stage, while the drummer struck up an extremely cheesy bum-bum-ba-DUM-bum-ba-DUM beat.  
 
So Frank left the stage, and Dino took over ("Let me sing you a medley of my hit") with "Everybody Loves Somebody", "Volare" and "That's Amore" which got the crowd going.  Then Sammy turned up, and although he didn't look too much like the original it was strange how, as the evening wore on, he started to resemble Sammy more and more.  He was amazing - Sammy Davis Jr. must be hard to do as he was undoubtedly the most talented of the three with his dynamic dancing, singing and impersonations.

This guy had all the mannerisms down too, calling everybody "Baby", using phrases like, "ring-a-ding-DING!" and launching into "That all black magic that I love so well - thankyou - old black magic that you weave so well..."   He also accepted the abuse of Frank and Dino with good grace, ("Hey Sammy, is that you dancin' or are you just stompin' cock-a-roaches?")
 
I suppose that's where the whole thing felt a little TOO authentic.  But it was all there - the sexism, the racism and the fact that Frank, try though he might, just WASN'T funny ("Hey aren't these hotels towels great?  So big and fluffy.  I'll tell ya I had trouble closing my suitcase this morning ha ha ha.")  So Dino and Frank had a go at Sammy for being black and Jewish, ("When he moves into a neighbourhood, EVERYONE moves out")  while Candy made SEVERAL reappearances (bum-bum-ba-DUM-bum-ba-DUM-bum-ba-DUM...)
 
But let's face it - that's what we were after - The Old Vegas and it was worth seeing it, good and bad, to hear uncanny versions of "Mr. Bojangles" ("I won't record this until 1968, but you know...") "What Kind of Fool Am I" and "Hey There".  It was at this point that Joey and Frank got back on stage for some banter, ("Hey Frank!  Why don't Eye-talians like Jehovah's witnesses?  'Cause Eye-talians don't like ANY witnesses!!")  It was at this point that Dean also appeared carrying the World's Largest Martini and the lads got together to do "The Lady Is A Tramp" and "The Birth of The Blues".

Caro LOVED this show.  It had the cheese-factor that she just lives for.  We carried on with this motif later in the week when we visited the "Elvis-A-Rama" museum which is devoted to all things The King.  There was an impressive display inside, including his many cars, all tastefully done out in Bright Metallic Purple or Gold, his boat and his many outfits including the big rhinestone one, his '68 comeback special kinky leather number and his kung-fu gear.  There was also an Elvis impersonator, but he wasn't terribly good.  Is it possible that we were Elvis-SPOILT during our time in Hawaii???