It’s a simple enough question ….

Anniemay’s on the phone, trying get our energy supplier to explain why our latest energy bill makes no sense to us.  

It’s a simple enough question.  Their figures show that we used NO gas while we were in Goa for nearly 4 weeks. But we’re being charged the same amount as the previous month.  Why?

She has the bill on her screen and talks the ‘help desk’ through the numbers.  We agree with their figures for gas used.  From thousands of miles away we were able to see, via the heating app, exactly if and when the boiler came on.  And it didn’t. Not once. 

The person on the other end puts it down to standing charges and faulty meter readings combined with an unfavourable alignment of the planets.

It doesn’t wash. They go off to consult a supervisor.  The supervisor says “it looks about right.”

The problem they have is that they’re dealing with an ex-Maths teacher.  Anniemay switches mode, withdrawing threats of detention and becomes sympathetic, encouraging the pupil to work through the sums from first principles.

Anniemay “do you think it looks about right?”

Help desk “................... No Miss”

Anniemay “can you explain it?”

Help desk “......No Miss”

Anniemay “so what’s the answer?”

Help desk “we’ll open a case, Miss”.

Meanwhile we check out other energy suppliers.