Ruffled Feathers....

'Oi, Mrs! You there, wearing an "Away and Blip Yourself" t-shirt. Would you like to take a photo of someone utterly beautiful, intelligent and charming?'

'Well of course I would. Is Hugh Jackman here?'

'Stupid woman. I'm referring to.....moi! The most attractive, charismatic and clever member of the pavo family.'

'Pavo? That means you're just a dip-dyed turkey, doesn't it? You're as ordinary as a big budgie, and I could turn you into peacock paella right now if I wanted to.'

'How very dare you. Peafowl are revered all over the world, and here in the UK, we're protected by your royal family. You can't touch me without being immediately thrown in jail.'

'Phooey; that's swans. Your lot are fair game....so to speak. In fact, just recently, I saw a recipe for peacock pie, beautifully decorated with feathers.'

'I do hope that's not a threat. If anything happens to me, one of my relatives will look for you, he will find you and he will kill you.......possibly.'

'Oh yeah, and who is this alleged relative then?'

'Liam.......Liam Geeson.'