Why the long face Eric?

Eric: No Valentine (slight sob)

Me: Perhaps it's in the post?

Eric: You're just saying that to make me feel better. I bet you got one...

Me: I did, but, to be honest, it was a bit rubbish.

(Eric snorts disdainfully)

Eric: Did you bring me an apple?

Me: Sorry Eric - the sign says feeding the animals isn't allowed...

Eric: Who are you calling an animal?!?!