Things I've learnt today

1. Fat Bikes are what the French call electric bikes with Fat Wheels. Jerry rented us two for the afternoon.  Nico's worked like a dream, mine was a pink Barbie dud.  Jerry met me on the bridge and swapped my Barbie bike for a black one.  We 'cycled' 12 km along an empty beach with Bernie running beside us.  I had Sharyn Ward's King of the road in my ears and the sun on my face and the wind at my back and life was perfect.

2.  Don't get Soustons muddled up with Seignosses.  They're two different places.

3.  Don't get angry when you find yourself on a golf course.  There's something in your DNA that makes you hate French and English golfers.  Take a deep breath and get over it.

4. Don't ask for a beer in an oyster shack on the edge of the lake at Hossegor.  You'll only get a glass of wine if you buy half a dozen oysters.  Accept them and appreciate you're in paradise.

5.  Never underestimate the stamina of your dog.  He can run 30 kms avec son doigt dans le nez  as the French say.

6. Never cut your nails when you've smoked a joint.  You'll end up with one nail that looks like Mont Blanc and you'll have problems putting your socks on.

7.  Never rent the gite on l'Avenue Maeréchal Leclerc at Cap Breton.  The last time you were here Putin declared war on the Ukraine.  This time he's managed to kill Alexei Navalny.