Back on the ride

With one mini adventure in the van under my belt, I felt like another today.

Last week, I was signed off work for a couple of weeks as a result of my mental health faltering and a time-out being imposed by the doctor. More pills were being offered up, but I don’t want to go down that route, choosing instead a mixture of attempted relaxation and mild exercise to try and reboot.

Work have been good and offered up some counselling, but for now I just want to give things a chance to settle before I make any decisions. I’m ok and physically I’m fine, I think I’m just burned/burnt (?) out.

With the children packed off to school, I headed out in Big Blue for a walk over Roanhead. It’s a stunning beach with views over to the Lake District fells on the right day, but today it was just how I needed it to be: wild and woozly. Perfect for unpacking some troubles and letting them blow away on the stiff sea breeze.

The walk out was bracing to say the least as the wind was blowing the small drops of rain directly into my face. I pressed on, determined to walk further along the shoreline than I had done before.

As I turned the furthermost point, I realised just how protected I had been from the wind before as I met with its full force. Sand rivers swirled all around me and I could feel the grains stinging me, so I pulled my hat down and my top up leaving the smallest of slits for my eyes. Noticing something in the distance, I pressed on once more.

Eventually, I came to this boat overturned and marooned in the sand. I sat on the other side of the vessel to get some shelter and marvelling at the sand rivers moving around me. I may have let a couple of loud yells escape from to be carried off by the wind.

I reflected on my heavy soul. Unable to escape the thought that the pandemic had brought the ride to a stop for a time (which I had quite enjoyed - not all the death and mis-management and political arsery of course) and when it started back up again, I had neglected to get back on.

Definitely, something to add to the list of “stuff I need to address”.

With the wind and rain starting to break through my waterproofs (mainly in the crotch would you believe?) and the tide coming back in at an alarming rate, I took this photo and then marched back to the van (where I would sit on the sofa and under a blanket to write this blip) grateful for the wind now being at my back.

Just need to keep that wind in the sail!