A different day

When I arrived at Mum’s bedside at 9 o’clock she was moaning “Help me, I can’t stand the pain”

This was not what I expected and it was very upsetting.

Today has been a day when I’ve been chasing staff - very few on duty unlike yesterday - and receiving promises of more morphine, but slow delivery times.

It was clear that the basic dose in the syringe driver was not enough because she needed frequent top up doses.

At one point I dissolved into tears and was comforted by a lovely junior doctor.

This afternoon, a new nurse on duty sorted it all out and apologised.

Sandra and her daughter, Elizabeth, came from Durham. Sandra and I have been friends from university days when we shared a flat. Mum made her wedding dress too and they have been close friends. They really came to support me, which was lovely.

Liz then came for the afternoon. I went for a walk, at which point the Methodist minister arrived.

I don’t know if Mum heard anyone today. She was lying on her left side, so on her left ear, the only one that hears. The nurses were going to turn her, but even with extra morphine, she could not tolerate the pain, so she stayed deaf all day.

She seemed to know me once or twice.

I was encouraged to take in any things she might like. Two of her favourite hedgehogs came, plus the little angel (who apparently represents me). I took her Mothering Sunday cards too . The cats always send her one.

Speaking of whom, I found that Oscar was in when I came home. I locked the cat flap and the conservatory door. Daisy is always in at about 3pm. Not tonight. The poor girl was locked out. I did realise quickly but she came in in high dudgeon. (Cat owners will understand!)